Inevitably
by Xyliette
Summary: Addison oneshot. Her life in parallel with the rain it has seen.


A./N: I am not even sure how this came about but it was an idea that I couldn't shake. Enjoy!

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_**It was a ludicrous idea. You should have known better. There are things in life that one can not change. Ironically it is as simple as that. Your mother was the first to preach this to you. Then your father. Then your friends, husband, co-workers and so on down the list. If only you would have listened to anyone of them you would not be in this mess tonight.

**_-----_**

Gripping the freezing rail of the ferry boat with your bare hands you exhale deeply taking in the scent of evening rain on the bay. The water is bare save a few other ferries and you are using the time to re-evaluate your life and its current predicaments. You watch as the multi-colored lights wiggle over the liquid's rippling surface. Rocking back and forth steadily on your heels you will the tears threatening your tired face to come back another day. For today you have had enough crying; enough caring. The rain splatters along your strong, once proud, now humbled jaw line. You don't bother with an umbrella anymore and have begun to welcome the sensation that flutters every time a droplet brushes your pale skin. This is how you know it is time to get out of Seattle. Rain is not your friend; rain has always been your arch-nemesis.

**_-----_**

The drenching spray from the sky covered everything as you made your way home from the last final of you junior year of college. Your shoes make unmistakable squeaks as you attempt to enter your house unnoticed. The clothing that is clinging to your thin frame is dripping onto the marble floor and your eyes follow the trail of empty glasses to the lounge where your mother is seated with another shot of whatever her pleasure is this evening. She was supposed to remember you were coming home tonight. She was meant to remember you were her daughter but you gave up on that notion years ago when she revealed that you were an unwanted surprise. Instead you tip toe out of your shoes and shrug your coat to the floor on your way to her. She looks up at you in dismay, not remembrance, and announces that she is leaving in the morning. For good.  
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After she left it was just you and him. The invincible duo of father and daughter. That was until the rain. Making your way through the garden you find him seated on your favorite bench clinging a piece of dripping wet paper. You skip around the puddles and take a seat next to the old withered man. You remember everything about this moment. Your memory has it all locked in and sometimes if you close your eyes hard enough you still feel his presence. The recollection consists of the smell of rain on the fresh flowers and new formed mud, the sound of the droplets hitting the wooden railing of the bench, and the sensation of the water piercing your already wet skin, all of it preserved in a perfect way ready to be re-called whenever you like. He shuffles and reluctantly hands the paper over to you. Just because you are only in your first year of medical school doesn't mean that you can't see the disparity and bleakness that the tattered piece of office paper holds. That paper literally ruined your life. The rain soaked, mushy fiber that took all of your hopes.  
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You stayed with him the entire time. You held his hand, stroked his leather face, trimmed his beard for him when his hands where too shaky, and were a never failing presence of love and of laughter. He joked with you for as long as you can recall and sometimes there is a tone in people's voice that reminds you of his. It still catches you off guard and tears automatically cling to your lashes. The night he slipped into a coma it rained, of course. You didn't have the strength to tell anyone other than his in-home nurse so when people called you simply took messages and promised to pass them on. You sat beside him; taking in every second you could afraid they would be his last and whispered to him who had called and what they had said through your tears. The rain splattered against the window pane that night as you watched over him. Studying the trickling water running down the glass it was then you finally came to the conclusion that you and rain did not get along.

**_-----_**

He died holding your hand. He died holding your heart. He took with him a part of you that you will never get back. His gray hair was matted to his temples, his pajamas still crisp for he hadn't moved in days, and his eyes glazed over with exhaustion he whispered that he would always love you and simply took his last breath. Then the rain started and you didn't move for hours. Your tears flowed heavier then any showers ever could and there was a part of you that died too. You watched his soul leave, then his body, and then you sat frozen for eternity. They pried you away from his corpse long enough for formal paperwork and arrangements. Then there was one. One and the rain. You hate the rain.

**_-----_**

It isn't a good story. It isn't the way people are supposed to fall in love. Dressed from head to toe in black you precede away from the headstone. The rains of the morning had washed it clean and with it washed away your flowers, so you had to bring more. The precipitation had just started to spray yet again as you made your way down the pavement path towards your car. For the first time you weren't crying when you left and as you watched your feet carry your body forward you bumped into another lost soul. You gazed up and met his blue watery eyes. You didn't know you had just met your future husband in a cemetery. One coffee date in the remembrance of past fathers turned into two and slowly you came to revel in one another's company. Things were looking up and for the first time you thought you had changed your fate. You remember thinking on your wedding day, on which it rained, that perhaps the precipitation was your friend. It should have been a sign. History has a point that is not to be ignored.  
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Tired and cranky you drag yourself to the closest on-call room and scrunch up into a ball on the bottom bunk. You are thankful that the room is empty so you can sob your heart out. While the others have made many mistakes you had remained flawless until this rainy day. As you pulled your knees as tight as they could get to your chest and clenched your fingernails into your skin you remember what she looked like taking her last breath. Everyone's is different and you can't believe you just killed a patient. Apparently it was your turn, you had lasted longer than any other resident in your program, but it didn't make it any less agonizing. Your husband informed you that you were too involved, too attached and then ran off to a craniotomy. It all led to listening to the rain beat down on the roof from your place huddled on the firm bed. Rain score 4, you 0.

**_-----_**

The day the actual downward spiral happened it was snowing. You were grateful for the lack of rain because you thought it would be too obvious of a sign that your marriage was doomed. He had been forgetting everything lately; your birthday, your anniversary, his father's death date, the day your father died, and now even his own birthday. It was all a little ridiculous. You can't even count all the fights you've had through the sound of splattering against the brownstone roof. The day you actually gave up it was indeed raining. The one when you stopped caring and stopped fighting there was a thunder storm complete with the rumblings of the earth and lights in the sky. You sat alone again in your kitchen and drank to your heart's content. Then you climbed the wooden stairs gripping the banister and flung yourself into a once love filled bed.

**_------_**

This time you picked your fate. You took control for once and chose your out. Unfortunately, you had to involve his best friend but he was there and willing as ever. Just there and that was all it took as the water began to pound through the glass door and you put your mouth on his. The rest was history. It all later came to you standing in the rain humiliated and alone as your husband tried to real in his thoughts of hatred enough to open the door. He left you that night with the rain. You sat and watched the storm from your place on the stairs until you thought your heart was going to burst at the seams.

**_-----_**

Then there was Seattle in all of its splendid weather pattern glory. Right then you should have stopped and known that chasing after a man who didn't want you anymore was a bad idea. You scrape the point of your heel along the floor of the ferry as you mentally curse yourself for not taking into account the rain. You steady your hands against the rail again and take a deep breath of the fresh night air as the city rushes along in front of you. All of your life's moment's hinge on climate and you find it rather absurd. So insane, in fact, you've never shared this belief with anyone. There was your mother, father, marriage, affair, first and second lost patients, the prom, and your divorce. There were so many warnings you should have noticed before you stepped foot into Seattle Grace but you thought foolishly that you could change your fate once and for all.

There are some things in life that one can not alter. They tried to tell you but it took you years to realize that showers were your demise. So you are taking charge and heading to a place where it rarely rains, sunny southern California. You smile when you acknowledge that your choice was actually made for you years ago; it was destiny this time. A good inclination to press forward and on with your life. The battle with the rain is over for now.**_  
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End file.
